What could have been?

I’m sure all of us RNSITians have at some time or the other wondered about what could have been. What if I had studied a bit more for IIT (The IIT!) What if I had done well in CET at least!! What if I’d opted for a B.Sc. rather than an engineering degree? So many what ifs. But being in third year I think its time I actually tried to figure out what all, if anything, I would have gained and what all, if anything, I would have lost.

For starters I would have been like this (You know about RNSITians being like this only). I wouldn’t have know what its to be away from home (though I stay 5 kms from college!), among strangers who’d soon be my best friends. I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of living in this unique atmosphere of students, students and more students, which I feel is unique to MY College. I probably wouldn’t have seen Omkar Hills nor the breath-taking view of my college on one side and the sun setting behind the Savandurga peak on the other side. I wouldn’t have lived in the heaven they call Academic block, which I call restroom (No American English meant), wouldn’t have played volleyball and probably wouldn’t have realized until people told me that I would have got more attendance in the ground playing volleyball than I would have in the class. I probably wouldn’t have gotten to eat Jeera rice (At least that’s what he call it) at “KK Gardan Dhaba & Familly Restorant” after a tiring group discussion on who is the best freshie “Maal” this year. I wouldn’t have heard of things like ordies and year backs, nor have known than anyone that acted abnormal would be called “Manja” or in my case “Slum”. I wouldn’t have had the privilege to eat at RK Mess and would have never realized how well my mom cooks. I wouldn’t have gotten to know that all the good girls were either taken or not interested. I wouldn’t have known all the lovely girls (and boys) who have come to be my closest friends and wouldn’t have known that teachers could be as good and as bad as ours. I wouldn’t have known what it would be to travel by college bus nor looked forward to sitting with a beautiful babe in the bus. I probably wouldn’t have known how filthy a person could be nor have known so much about the types of bikes and beers and certainly wouldn’t have known what it to get harassed by a cop when “my group” ventured on a trip to Manchanbele dam (On charges of rape case suspects!).

I might have gotten a payment seat elsewhere instead of a management quota seat here and ended up with a fatter pay packet but I wouldn’t have learnt how to manage my money. I wouldn’t have known that six people could share a “Maddur Vada” in the college canteen and still be sure that all of them would be contended with it (Or rather whatever they got of it!). I might have gotten better food to eat but wouldn’t have known that it was better. I might have got more friends but couldn’t have got better ones.

If I wouldn’t have had been where I am today I would have been somewhere else. And that would mean that I would have a different share of memories. But to have them, I would have to forget the ones that I have. And if I had a choice, which would I forget? Would I like to forget the feeling of standing on the Turahalli peaks in the early morning fog (After having bunked class) gazing at my college building and wondering what everyone might be doing in class? Or would I like to forget my going to Rangaswamy hills for a trek from college without telling my mom? Or maybe I would like to forget being degraded and humiliated by classmates and lecturers and the rest. But no, I’d prefer to keep all of them- the good, the bad and the ugly (You can sing the background tune for me). For I cherish each one of them, especially the ones with a tinge of pain in them, for they’ve taught me so much more.

All said and done I think I’m living the best life I ever could, and given a million chances I’d live this one a million times over.

AMEN